Creation NW

Today through saturday, my mom and I are going to Creation NW. It is the largest Christian festival in the US. This will be my mom's first time, but it will be my 8th time. I started going with my aunt (my Godmother) in 6th grade. It used to be at the Gorge Ampitheater, so this will be my first time at the Enumclaw Expo Center. We are going to see tons of bands and speakers, including Toby Mac, Switchfoot, Newsboys, etc, etc. I am excited! I'm hoping that I can get a lot out of the messages.

While i'm gone (i'm coming home each night), my dad and Ricky will be teaming up to babysit Tristan. Hopefully Tristan will finally sleep at my parent's house. I'm sure he will be fine. This will be good practice for when Ricky and I leave for 9 days in August.

sleep, food, and baby

We have been trying to tweak Tristan's schedule. He has been sleeping poorly for his naps, and has been waking up at 6 (he usually woke up at 7ish). I tried the one nap a day, but he only took 45-1hr nap instead of extending it, and he was tired by the end of the day, and before his nap. So we also tried moving up his bed time by about 30 min. He sleeps longer at night now (still wakes up at 6). So today we are back on a 2 nap schedule. Hopefully we can figure out the right combination of naps and bed time.

I my 12 wk ultrasound this past Thursday. It was scheduled when I was 11 wks and 2 days. However, the baby was a bit small still, so I have to go back in 2 weeks. They couldn't do the measurements they needed. Even though the baby doesn't measure at 11 wks 2 days, they don't change the due date because the original ultrasound is the most accurate. Tristan was always on the smaller side, too. I am getting big already, though! I have already gained about 10 pounds....

On another note, Tristan is yet again a very picky eater. He only wants to eat carbs, yogurt, and bananas. I try everything- mixed veggies, black beans, other fruits/veggies, meats, pieces of what we're eating.... I keep offering a bunch of stuff every day, though.

We picked nursery themes. If it's a girl, it will be very girly and frilly, etc. If it's a boy, we are doing owls :-) I can't wait till we find out the gender (september). That is when pregnancy gets more exciting. You can feel the baby, and you definitely look pregnant. You can decorate the nursery and start planning.

What's New

I keep starting this post, but I don't know what exactly to say. A lot has been going on. Tristan is starting to walk!!! Sometimes he forgets that he can, though. I gave him his second hair cut. His hair grows very fast. He is on all finger food now (no baby food!). I can't believe how big he is getting! He is almost 14 months old. He loves books lately. He will pull out tons of books from his book shelf and read to himself for an hour every day. We read a book before each nap and bedtime. Speaking of naps, he has been shortening his morning nap. I'm hoping I can keep him on a 2 nap schedule until Ricky and I return from our anniversary trip in August.

I am now just over 10 weeks pregnant. I had morning sickness for weeks 6 and 7. It was totally unexpected since Tristan's pregnancy was utterly uneventful. However, I am thankful that it was not that bad, and also that it only lasted a few weeks. I feel pretty good now. I am really thirsty a lot. I almost passed out a few times.

My best friend Amy came to visit! We went and saw some movies, went to a kangaroo farm, Ikea, took the bus to Pike Place Market, etc. It was sooo fun! It was the longest i've been away from Tristan.

Boredom

Ahhh boredom, you are my arch nemesis! Here's the deal- I LOVE being a stay at home mom! BUT, both Tristan and I get so bored being at home all the time. We only have one car, and Ricky takes the car 4 days a week. The bus is about $5/day whereas gas is only about $2.70/day. Isn't that weird?

We need people to come over more. Also, we need to go on more walks. There aren't any parks within walking distance. The area around my condo isn't that great for walking. I am going to buy an umbrella stroller so I don't have to lug Tristan and the big stroller down the 3 flights of stairs (the stroller usually stays in the car anyways).

Anyone want to come over and hang out? Any ideas of what we can do around the house?

What's New

Let's see... What's new? We have decided on a girl's and boy's name:

Vaida Kaelyn Hawkins

Izak Orion Hawkins

I know there is controversy over the name Vaida, but Ricky and I just couldn't find anything else we liked.

I am almost 6 weeks pregnant. I am a little over a week 'behind' what I would have been if I had normal cycles. Tristan was 'off' as well. I found this out before my first official OBGYN appointment (June 15th) because I've been having some spotting. I had some spotting with Tristan, too, but I needed peace of mind. I went in to get an ultrasound. There was no heart beat yet because the baby is too young still. She said in a few more days we would have seen it. No miscarriage. The bleeding is probably from the baby "implanting" itself, and it hit a blood vessel or something. I am on 'pelvic rest', so I have to rest, and try not to use my stomach muscles, try not to lift anything over 20 pounds (careful with Tristan). I think she said my due date was Jan. 31st, but i'll know for sure when I see the doctor. The funny part: she asked if I had used any fertility drugs to get pregnant. I almost had twins. There were 2 eggs, but only one developed into a baby.

Tristan is doing very well! He will be 13 months in a little over a week. He is SOO close to standing and walking! He likes pushing his walker all over the place, and leans on things without holding on. It has been about a week and a half since I weaned him completely. I am very engorged. But it's not painful like I would expect. It almost feels hard, like it's calcifying or something. I was told eventually I will just empty, but it is getting rather uncomfortable.

My best friend Amy is coming to visit soon!

What's In A Name

Naming a baby is hard!!! I've been reading book after book, and going to naming websites, etc. I want to pick a boy name and a girl name before we find out the gender. My girl name list is longer than the boy name list by far. Ricky is really picky, too. I think the boy name will be Izak Orion Hawkins. Some other boy names we are considering (either for 1st or middle):

Constantine, Dante, Jasper, Brendon, Sylas, Levi, Camdon

We dont want a name ending in 'on' or 'an' or 'in' for a first name because we don't want it to rhyme with Tristan. Sylas was our second choice for Tristan, but there was recently a 'Silas' born at our church.

For a girl, we really like Vaida Kailyn Hawkins. My family insists she would be made fun of and called Darth Veda. We also are playing with the spelling of that. Veda, Vada, Vaida, Veida, Vaeda, etc. We want people to at least know how to pronounce it (VAY-da). Some other girl names:

Arabella, Arabelle, Anabella, Anabel, Presephone, Charlotte, Scarlette, Lydia, Madelyn, Adelaide, Adeline, Rosalie, Raena, Kaelyn, Cadence, Amelina

So much going on!

So many changes! As posted before, I am pregnant! Also, Tristan is fully weaned as of 2 days ago. He is doing excellent with it! He has been going right to sleep at night, instead of fussing. He has been abnormally cranky (extremely cranky!) the past week, but I think it may be teething? He does not have an ear infection. Some people think he may be able to tell i'm pregnant. He seems much better today, though *knock on wood*. I hosted an amazing spa party yesterday! It was all decorated with candles and flowers! There was a spa room. My friend came and did mani/pedis. There was a hand massage class, and tons of giveaways and prizes. We did affirmation cards, and there was tons of food and activities. I think I'll do it again in 6 months!

Ricky and I will be celebrating our 5-year anniversary in August! We are going on a road trip. My parents are kind enough to watch Tristan. It will be good time spent together before baby 2 comes along. Here is our itinerary:

Sat- Drop off Tristan, drive 3 hours to Astoria, Oregon. Visit Fort Stevens. Camp at Astroria/Seaside KOA.

Sun- Visit Seaside, OR all day. Camp at KOA.

Mon- Pack up, drive 1 hour, visit Tillamook Cheese Factory. Drive 7 more hours. Camp at the Redwood National Forest KOA.

Tues- Explore the Redwoods. Camp at the Redwood KOA.

Wed- Pack up, drive 3 hours to Crater Lake. Camp at Mazama Village Campground.

Thurs- Explore Crater Lake. Camp at Mazama Village Campground.

Fri- Pack up, drive 9 hours to Leavenworth, WA. Camp at Leavenworth KOA.

Sat- Explore Leavenworth, pack up, drive 2 hours to our condo in Renton. Sleep at our house.

Sun- Sleep in, rest, pick up Tristan after his nap.

Hawkins Family Grows!

I'M PREGNANT!!!! YAY!!! That is exactly how I feel. I feel like I am going to jump out of my skin. I am so giddy :-) I have already told my relatives, and posted the news on Facebook. I'm never the type to be able to keep it a secret. Now the only thing that is on my mind is: I hope I don't have a miscarriage! I know, such a morbid topic considering I just found out I have a new life growing in me! I am always such a worry-wart.

Here's the good news: My first doctor's appt. is on Jun 15th (only 20 more days!). It is supposed to be at 8 weeks, but my cycles are usually longer, so I bet they'll find the baby to only be 7 weeks. Tristan was 6 1/2 weeks at my '8 wk' appt. The baby's due date will likely be at the very end of January, or early Feb, but i'll post when they let me know.

The less good news: It is not good to nurse while pregnant, so Tristan needs to wean soon (Probably within a week). It is good that he was already almost weaned (only 2/day). Starting today, I removed his morning nursing, but i'll do the bedtime one for 4-5 days, then that will be it! It is sad :-(

We are already looking at baby names! I am so excited about this baby! I have been praying so much about this, especially for the past month. God truly has been faithful to my family. My faith has truly grown through the pregnancy and birth of my child(ren).

As of right now, I feel great! I am not very far in the pregnancy yet. I have been a little more tired, and hungry, but no sickness. We will see what happens. No sickness for my last pregnancy, so let's hope it is the same!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TRISTAN!

Happy Birthday to my little man, Tristan Isaiah Hawkins! I cannot believe it has already been I year since he was born. A year ago today, I went from no contractions to 10 centimeters in 2 1/2 hours. The hospital was a whirlwind. I called asking if I should come in because my contractions were 3 min apart, but had just started. They said yes. I called Ricky to come back home. We got to the hospital and I thought we would be sent home. My contractions were a piece of cake. Hooray! I was 5 cm. They said to walk to hall for an hour till my room was ready. I only made it down the hall. I got to my room. I was 10 cm! The nurses were freaking out and telling me not to push (I didn't even feel the urge). Then I pushed for 7 hours.... and he had to be 'vacuumed' out. His little nose was squished for weeks, and his head was a cone. His head was so sore that they went to the NICU and got him a gel pillow that he slept on for 2 weeks lol.

Happy Birthday to my little man, Tristan Isaiah Hawkins! I cannot believe it has already been I year since he was born. A year ago today, I went from no contractions to 10 centimeters in 2 1/2 hours. The hospital was a whirlwind. I called asking if I should come in because my contractions were 3 min apart, but had just started. They said yes. I called Ricky to come back home. We got to the hospital and I thought we would be sent home. My contractions were a piece of cake. Hooray! I was 5 cm. They said to walk to hall for an hour till my room was ready. I only made it down the hall. I got to my room. I was 10 cm! The nurses were freaking out and telling me not to push (I didn't even feel the urge). Then I pushed for 7 hours.... and he had to be 'vacuumed' out. His little nose was squished for weeks, and his head was a cone. His head was so sore that they went to the NICU and got him a gel pillow that he slept on for 2 weeks lol.

The past year has gone by so fast! I told Ricky yesterday that I have sung 'You Are My Sunshine' to him every day of his life. At one year, Tristan is a speedy crawler, picky eater, finicky sleeper, very hyper and active, and he loves getting hugs. He's not much of a cuddler, though. He has 5 teeth. He is 'cruising' on furniture, but not walking yet. He has stood once, but he normally just leans against things, even without his hands. He is down to 2 nursing sessions a day, and has 4 solid meals a day. He just started eating finger foods, but just barely. He just started getting attached to this little stuffed rattle giraffe named "Jambalaya". He loves eating hair and fuzzies! His favorite foods are bananas and yogurt. He says 'mama' 'dada' and a mangled version of 'light'.

I am so thankful that I get to stay home with him every day! I've barely spent any time apart from him, and I still feel that I've missed so much. I love him so much! Today we are getting pictures of him and family portraits. I realized that to this day, we do not have a single picture with all three of us in it... that's sad! I will be done weaning him in a month, which makes me sad.

Baby Fever

I want a baby. I've definitely been advertising that point lately. I feel like i'm starting to get annoying, but this feeling is very annoying to me also. I probably keep announcing it because I am looking for some glimmer of hope that it will happen soon. I always thought that it would be easier waiting for second (third, fourth) pregnancies, but I think I was wrong. Tristan was a planned pregnancy, but it happened the first month. No waiting, really. We have been trying since the beginning of December for number two. It was pretty easy at first. I was still nursing 6 times a day, and my cycle had not returned yet. It gave me a 'good reason' why it wasn't happening. Then I got my cycle back, but I was still nursing a lot, so that was my excuse. Now, I just began weaning, and he is at twice a day (only for a few weeks). Hopefully that will help get the process started. I know that everything can take a while to get back to normal after giving birth and nursing, but I feel like after 6 months, my 'excuses to myself' are finally wearing off.

I also know that Tristan is still a baby. I am NOT trying to replace him. I simply know that pregnancy is a 10-month ordeal, so he will be well out of babyhood by the time #2 comes around. I think that I am going to have a hard time wanting to stop having kids. When Ricky and I met, he wanted only one child, and not until he was near 30. I wanted 3, and wanted to start as soon as someone was brave enough to marry me. I don't think I would have been able to marry someone who only wanted one. Luckily for me, by the time we got engaged, Ricky wanted 3. After we got married, I still had massive baby fever, but I knew it was unrealistic to expect an 18-year-old guy to have kids right away. Every so often we would argue about it, but one day Ricky said he had been thinking about it for about 6 months (had to be sure before he told me. You can't take something like that back!) and he was ready! This was about 3 years into our marriage. We tried, and were lucky enough to not play the waiting game.

During my pregnancy with Tristan, I began thinking about wanting 4. Ricky stuck to '3', but I thought that was reasonable. Then my precious Tristan was born! I love him so much! The first thing I said directly after giving birth was (to the doctor) "so, is this what delivery will be like next time?" and he replied to me "how about we talk about birth control on your next visit" lol. Then as a few months passed, I started feeling like I wouldn't want to stop having kids. This is a problem, considering Ricky only wanted 3. A few months ago, Ricky told me he felt God changed his heart, and now he wants 4 or 5 children. HALLELUJAH!! No convincing needed on my part. Thanks, God :-)

I hope God decides to bless us with our next child soon. If not, He will certainly teach me patience. I know that each baby is a blessing and a gift from God. I will do everything in my power to cherish these gifts and thank Him every day for them :-)

Mommy, the controller

I have followers! Weird lol I suppose I like living vicariously through others as well. Today I am going on an outing with my mom. I will be gone from Tristan for both of his naps. We'll only be gone for 4 hours, but I haven't had much time away from him since he was born (because of the whole not taking a bottle thing). Saturday morning I am going to some yard sales with some friends, and Ricky will be staying home with Tristan. It is such an odd feeling. I almost feel like Tristan cannot possibly survive without his mommy. Even for a few hours. I always make sure to relay specific directions. 'This is his schedule, he like this, he hates that....' I am trying to let go a LITTLE bit... For example, I am trying to go on a date or go do something at least once a week and get a babysitter. I think Tristan needs to get used to different people. He even needs to get used to ricky watching him. I am trying to allow him to nap in the pack and play at my parent's house (they just moved back). But I know that Tristan is not used to that, and just cries. However, he napped there last week.

In August, Ricky and I are going on an anniversary road trip. My parents are watching Tristan for 9 DAYS! I keep trying to talk myself out of it. "He'll need me. He won't sleep there. I'll miss him too much" The last one is probably the only true one. But we need the time away. Alone together. We will be having another baby soon (hopefully), so it will be the last time we have this much alone time for another 20 years!

On another note, yesterday was 'weaning day 1'. He did very well! He only got a little cranky once and wanted to nurse, but I just gave him his water instead. I cried a bit last night after he went to bed and I was talking to Ricky. Mostly, I am sad that Tristan is growing up so fast. I think I said "He wont love me as much anymore because he won't need me" and "He'll think i'm being mean to him". I think it's usually harder for the mom than the baby. It is comforting knowing that i'll have another baby to comfort next year.

Blogging again?

I haven't blogged in over a year. Tristan is almost a year old! (next wednesday) I cannot believe that he is so old already! It feels like he was just born. He sure has been a handful at times, and a joy all of the time. As I think back, I find it important that I learn that all things will pass and get better with time. He didn't start sleeping through the night until 11 months old! He is a very, very light sleeper (so we have to use a fan on high as white noise, and I can't do anything during his naps). He didn't nap at all until 6 months. He still cries before each nap and bedtime. He was a very late crawler. He had a flat head and almost needed a helmet, as well as physical therapy to fix his neck. He had a heart murmur that healed itself. Now we face ourselves with a near one-year-old who vomits when he eats basically anything not completely pureed. It is hard for me to realize that he won't have these problems forever.

Along with his eating problems, I am starting to wean him this week. That was always a point of anxiety for me because he never took the bottle or binky. Not only is he very attached to me and nursing, but I was afraid he wouldn't learn the sippy cup. Well, he is doing surprisingly well with the sippy cup after introducing it very early and very consistently. He got his first taste of cow's milk yesterday, and he seemed to like it! I am going to wean him to only a morning and right before bed nursing. He started biting me, so I had to wean him earlier than expected. We have to have him completely weaned by our Anniversary trip in August.

On another baby-related note, we have been trying for another baby for 6 months now. It hasn't seemed like that long because i've had Tristan to worry about, and also because nursing can hinder getting pregnant. But in the past month, I have started getting massive baby fever again. I loved being pregnant the first time, and I want to have my babies close in age. If I got pregnant this month, they would be 20 months apart. Ricky and I both want 4 or 5 kids. Ricky used to want 3, but God has really changed our hearts on the issue. I keep fearing that i'll never want to stop! haha

Recently Ricky and I have been focusing on becoming a Christ-centered family. I have seen so many amazing improvements in our marriage, and Ricky as a leader of the household. I have been experimenting with praying for others, my family, and worshiping at church. God recently started putting people from our past back into our lives (not good people), and we have been able to deal with old issues and keep a strong marriage while doing so.

Life is pretty good right now. I believe that God put Tristan in my life for joy. I didn't realize this until this past week, but I used to have bad depression and bipolar problems, but I do not anymore. Ricky even told me that I am am much more mellow and do not have mood swings like I used to. I am excited to see what will happen next in my life.